1. The Dance

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10. Dancing Together
This Mom has learned that her baby strongly prefers slow, quiet, deliberate movements. That's the kind of dance he wants to dance. That's the tempo at which he wants to live his life. By adapting her dance to his, this Mom knows she will maximize his comfort and her own.

When they are dancing with you, and you are dancing with them, it's called Pacing. And from Pacing comes Rapport, the state of being tuned in to the other person and enjoying the dance. As a Parent, you need to learn how to Pace in order to gain Rapport.


—without upsetting the baby, right?

That's right!


If you're very deliberate with him, because he gets so frustrated. My daughter wasn't like that!


If you're very deliberate and you're very quiet with him (Mom gestures with her arms and upper body) he seems to be calm—

You move slowly and he stays calm!

—and if you don't, then he—goes along with you.

They take it in. Sure they do! They dance to the rhythm of the world around them.

That's right!


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