HIGHER LEVEL PARENTING
III. TECHNIQUES
24. Playing Both Sides
fr_01107_1XXIV. PLAYING BOTH SIDES
The same toggle switch that turns something on when it's off turns something off when it's on. This is the basic logic behind the strategy called Playing the Ambivalence. It's tricky, it's subtle, it's counterintuitive, but it can work and when it does, it usually works very well because it is a strategy of staying in alignment with the other person's own shifting wishes.

The very essence of the feedback-based approach is to use constantly varying tactics to meet varying situations. The consistency is in the higher-level goals, such as allowing them to experience success and feel competent in their developmental achievements. You can be consistent in higher goals while doing a lot of switching in your moment-to-moment tactics.

1. Would You Share
2. Let Him Set The Pace
3. Play Both Sides

 

 

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